Enormous obese patient, train wreck in all sorts of ways* including a candida infection nearly continental in its extent and stench. Nurse decides to catheterize. Penis is located under at least 5 cm of adipose tissue: in other words it’s an innie, not an outie. Not a good thing in a guy.
Nurse fiddles around some trying to somehow visualize the meatus. At least.
“Oh,” says the patient. “I haven’t seen my dick in years!”
*Denies, however, diabetes. Ha.