It’s probably a good rule in life that if you’re going to lie, make it at least credible and hard-to-check.
Patient LM is assigned to bed 5005 Bed 2 on 5 South. I tell LM’s nurse the bed is ready and to call up report. Ten minutes later LM’s nurse comes back and informs me that 5 South charge told her a patient is still 5005 and “wouldn’t be discharged for a couple of hours.”
Curious, but it happens. Miscommunication and so on. I call Admitting. There’s a patient still in the bed.
“That bed has been empty for a week,” says Admitting. “It was blocked because the next bed was a Contact isolation, and he was discharged yesterday.”
Heh. Busted. And the 5 South Charge Nurse on today really hates me, with a pure and unremitting hate, the sort that blights grass and makes small children cry. I laugh.
“Can I call 5 South? Please?”