A Tragedy and Farce in One Act.
(Curtain rises to reveal a busy Resus Room setting, full of patients, families, and nurses. Occasional moans, and nurses calling out, “Can you bring me a syringe?” and “I need the doc in here stat!”)
(A patient’s husband approaches a Nurse, who is drawing up some drug or another.)
Husband: (very angry and yelling loudly) My wife is having a stroke! I have never seen her act like that? There is something seriously wrong with her! And you guys are doing absolutely nothing! I have never seen such incompetence!
Nurse: (calmly, looking at syringe) She’s receiving appropriate treatment. We have assessed her, positioned her so she maintains a patent airway, started an IV, drawn bloods, and monitoring her heart rate and rhythm. . .
Husband: (the same) I’m an RN in the ICU at Holy Somolians Hospital downtown.
Nurse: But. . .
Husband: I know when someone is neurologically impaired! You guys don’t know you ass from your elbow! She needs a CT, stat!
Nurse: (a little exasperated) If you work in an ICU, you would surely recognize an ethanol level of 83.*
Husband: What? That’s impossible! (voice trailing off) She doesn’t drink, she quit a couple of years ago. . .
*In perspective, you’re considered legally impaired with a level of 17.