Sorry, Facebook Snark Doesn’t Count

The other day, I was passing by my personal Facebook account, which admittedly I don’t pay much attention to: between work busyness, this blog and that Twitter thing  — plus my regular, you know, non-virtual life — enough is quite enough. Anyway, someone recommended I friend this guy who’s somewhat more than a nodding acquaintance, but much less than a real acquaintance, let alone someone who has my phone number and spends time sucking back the good Merlot around my dining room table. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, maybe: he’s does some work in the charity I’m involved in.

So I friended him, and a short while later I get this message back:

Hi [redacted]

Thanks for “friending” me, but at this point in time I’ve only “friending” people who are real friends and family.



Oh, snap.

Then I checked his Facebook page: he has 156 “real friends and family.”

Oh, double snap.

He hates me. (Sob.)

A finely calculated insult, or so he thought: my would-be friend used up some neurons thinking up a put-down. On Facebook. Somehow, it’s like being told by a four-year-old that you’re smelly; it’s a little hard to take seriously. Are there people in real life who would be offended by this? Really?


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  1. #1 by Cartoon Character on Wednesday 13 October 2010 - 0948

    I wouldn’t be offended. Of my 178 “friends” on facebook…….100 of them are family (brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins)…….the rest are people I actually know and interact with. I used to have one or two that I knew of through other people but I have since dropped them because I don’t have anything to say to them, or wish them to know all my business. So, really, it is possible that all those “friends” of his are actual relatives or real friends….. :) I have been known to ignore some requests. At least you got a reply with an explanation.

  2. #2 by wilomis on Wednesday 13 October 2010 - 1232

    your episode is only the first layer of insult. recently I went through a purge and “de-friended” people I never talk to or predict I will never talk to… that is until I ran into someone I recently “de-friended.” They wanted to know why…. awkward… i think you may have inspired a potential comic…

  3. #3 by Jenn Jilks on Wednesday 13 October 2010 - 2041

    Ah. I unfriended someone at a time when her terrific life and activities depressed me, (I was out of work, away from family & friends) and she sent me a three paragraph e-mail, then blocked me to let me know how P.O.d she was that I unfriended her!
    Holy liftin snappers!

  4. #4 by Zoe on Wednesday 13 October 2010 - 2235

    I wouldn’t be offended. I have (and know several people who have) purged their friend list, pared it down to true friends. Facebook and I have different definitions of the word “friend.”

    And truth be told, 156 “friends” isn’t really a lot. I guarantee most of them are family, and the rest are people he actually interacts with. Years ago, when hubby and I were planning our wedding, we tried to keep the invites to people we were in contact with (ie: not inviting family we barely speak to) and ended up with about 110 people (including the bridal party). Most of the guests were on my side, and I consider myself to be fairly introverted.

    Let it go, it’s just facebook.

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