I’ve worked as an Emergency Department nurse for something like thirteen years now, and at my present position more or less for ten years. It’s probably safe to say I’ve seen just about everything from the incredible tragic to the incredible funny, the good, the bizarre and the ugly. As I’ve said before, I’m blessed to have one of the coolest jobs around, and lucky to do something I can (sometimes) feel passionate about. Last few weeks though, I’ve been really out of sorts. The bloom is going off the rose. Can’t quite put my finger on it. Sense of general dissatisfaction? Bored? Just plain tired? I don’t know. My colleagues are really starting to annoy me, where before I could look upon their foibles with a sense of humour and plain tolerance, and I am starting to think I’m annoying the shit out of them as well. I come in some days, look at the staffing line-up and wish I had called in sick. The patients lately seem to be rude and hostile, or more so. Every problem seems to take massive amounts of time and energy to fix, and Acme Regional’s bureaucracy seems more obtuse than ever. Every little piece is taking its toll, and I don’t seem to have the reserves anymore to make up for the loss.
I’m not tripping the light fantastic anymore.
Fact is, I’m starting to dread going into work at all. Signs and symptoms of burnout? I have ten days holiday coming up shortly. After that break, maybe I’ll have some perspective. But I’m thinking it’s time to go and do something else.